LAST FOR 2011

I have so many things going on in my mind but I probably don't know where to start.
my 2011 went okay, steady but not that great.
well, we all had our ups and downs this year and it will already be part of the history later at midnight.
it is just up to us how will we want to remember all our experiences or maybe how we want to forget the bad ones.


for me, I think I don't want to forget anything from my 2011 because even though the year has been so tough I can still see it as a lesson. my professor in my Theology class said to us that things appear differently in how you view it. yes indeed, we all have our own views in life, own preferences. and for the first time, mine is on the positive side. :D


okay...let's start
i hope this will not sound bitter or what because I am definitely not. I just want to jut down all the things in my mind right now before the year ends.
A year will pass again and I am proud of myself for overcoming a serious heartbreak.
There are lots of factors in my life that helped me in getting better of the experience.


Number one in the list would be my Faith in Him.
before (and it means way before or matagal na matagal na), I used to pray for a second chance. That some day, at the right time I will be able to talk to him and we'll be okay again in terms of our relationship. But as time pass, my prayer went to be this way: I hope I can just meet people who can help me make new memories that will cover up the bad ones in my love life.
and then a lot of things happen...


my parents especially my mom became lenient to me somehow. pinapayagan na ko umalis once in awhile. although still most of my paalams are just alibis for her to permit me to go out, I can see that mas maluwag na siya sakin compared before. Thank God really for this, cos if not I might probably be in my emo-ing stage right now. hahaha!  i got leisure time for my friends or my barkadas which I enjoyed the most! I had so many bonding moments with lots of my friends. (movie dates, hang-out trips, inuman trips, overnight, swimming bonding, lahat na...name it!) 


but there is one thing that happened this year that did the biggest way to help me move on.
last Sept.25 in Mega Mall, we unexpectedly saw each other and talked for awhile. maybe that moment is a closure for us already because after that,  my mind and emotion suddenly felt in peace. I cannot deny that I still cried a bit that time but it's okay. I just released all the pain that is left inside and now I'm really really happy that I cannot feel any pain in my chest. (long story to tell but that's the point)


enough of me....
the biggest lesson in the year 2011 would be the lessons we learned hearing, seeing and experiencing the natural calamities either here in our own country or even outside.
it would be so selfish of me if I only think of my past good or bad experiences when in fact there are people out there crying and suffering because of loss of their loved ones.
I just heard a mass, the last one I will attend for this year and it was an eye opening. As we celebrate the New Year, let us not forget that a lot of our fellow citizens all over the world are not that lucky as we are to celebrate the new year with complete family. I realized that my petty problems about my love life, or about my relationship with my family is just a small thing. The thing is, I should not dwell on those and look at the brighter side. I know it's a cliche' but that's the truth. I want this year to be different, well every year is different but only if I choose to be.


2012 is somewhat scary to think of because of the rumors before that the year 2012 is the end of the world. It will be the end of the world if you believe it will be. I DO NOT.
because I BELIEVE THAT 2012 WILL BE A BETTER YEAR FOR ME.
I WILL MAKE IT BETTER
I CHOOSE TO BE BETTER
AND IT WILL BE BETTER


I have so much plans this year.
I have so much hope.
I have so many dreams.
I will use this coming year for those :)

For Once

if you know me long enough, you will probably agree with almost all of my friends who say that I am "slow".
yeah slow... in terms of pag-gets ng mga jokes, or sarcasm of my friends.
...or in any conversation where I am always the one who will ask the questions "Bakit? Bakit?" or "Ano yun ulit?"
sometimes I admit that hindi ko talaga gets, but there are times that I ask those questions just to clarify that what I am thinking is correct. Ayoko naman kasi minsan mag-react agad on things tas mali pala iniisip ko.

"SLOW KA TALAGA" or "SLOW NANAMAN SI MAF"...well immune na ko to hear these statements from my friends. okay lang. Minsan we just laugh it off nalang para hindi offensive yung dating.
but there are times that it bothers me already. especially when I'm serious on asking about something that I really don't know but then all I will hear is the term "SLOW". (I ignore it nalang to prevent misunderstandings or whatsoever)

Okay I admit masaya naman minsan yung asarin ako ng "SLOW" pero with the other terms like "BOBO" / "TANGA"...slight offensive na siya for me but then, I tend to not look like I am already offended or pissed because sometimes I am not sure if they are just fooling around or they already mean it.

Honestly, I never like the fact that my friends can say those words to me. Yeah joketime but doing it almost every time isn't good already. I remember my teacher telling us about "labeling to children".
It means that when you label someone especially a young kid with for example "pasaway", there is a great possibility that he will live on to that label because that's what he always hear which makes him think that when he hears the word "pasaway" it is already accepted that it is him.

I am scared that I am now acting like a kid who accepted already the terms my friends coined me.
"SLOW" , "TANGA" , "BOBO"
I'm pretty sure that I am not those kind of shits.

I laugh out loud to jokes and pang-aasar.
but I wish people know how to stop and realize that it is already below the belt.
I believe that I deserve some RESPECT as a woman and as a human being.
Yes, as a woman because i get so offended by my guy friends.
okay lang naman asarin nila ako, but sometimes the words they use on me are not that good to hear from guys. parang nakakababae na! (lol)  it sounds funny but just like for guys, for me it is already stepping on my ego as a girl.

FOR ONCE...
I WANT TO BE RESPECTED SOMEHOW.



This is my thought in general. so for my friends who can read this, I don't mean something bad. 
I hope you'll just understand and respect my part.